Passive
by Mana Walker
Summary: John's girlfriend told him that she couldn't be the second person his life. Everyone knowing the first being Sherlock. John takes it out on Sherlock and he runs off. Can John find him and apologize, or will Sherlock's self-destroying behavior get the best of him. *JohnLock ending, nothing explicit*
1. Chapter 1

Sherlock Pov:

John stared at me, his grave expression pending hate. His demeanor had changed greatly from his cheery expression he had this morning. He had only gone to Sarah's, he's trying not to cry. She broke up with him. Why? Wait what had he told me earlier? Ah yes, Be compassionate. "John? Are you alright?"

He seemed to bristle, can people bristle? I thought only cats could bristle. And John's more like a dog. I'm a bit like a cat, devious.

"No I am not alright Sherlock." He was trying to contain his anger. "This your fault!"

What? Did I do something? "What are you blabbering about John?" No! That came out to insensitive. He bristled again.

"I'm talking about you being the reason Sarah broke up with me!" I stared at him, I knew my expression was still passive on the outside. I was actually shocked.

"What do you mean John?" Most definitely passive.

He glared intensely at me. "I mean she said she can't be compared to you. She can't be the second person in my life! Sherlock, You are my flat-mate. And thats it! We're not even friends!" He shouted.

I stared at him, mentally kicking myself for showing emotion. But he actually hurt me. There was an ache in my chest, that I've only felt a couple of times before. Those weren't good times. "Okay." I managed to choke out, "I'll go just give me a second."

I saw his anger faultering, but I ignored it. I ran passed him to my room.

"Sherlock." He was trying to get my attention. But my mind was spinning and even though I could hear him I couldn't answer.

"Give me just a second, go make some tea, I'll be gone soon." I could feel my eyes prickling. This wasn't good, I can't cry. I will not cry.

I shut my door and got my leather bag. I put my wallet and my purple shirt inside the bag, I looked for my journal and plopped that inside to. I'd just grab the case notes and my violin, they're outside. Okay I'll face him one more time.

He was right outside my door, and I knew my face was still showing anguish. But no matter how hard I tried I couldn't remove this expression.

"Sherlock, you don't-"

"I have to go John, it's okay. Go call Sarah, I'm sure she'll listen if you talk to her." I interrupted. I don't need his pity, I just need my violin.

His face was a mix of sadness, but I know I saw gratitude in his eyes. He was happy for me to go, no more Sherlock to get him into trouble.

I ran passed him and put all the papers in my bag. I tucked my violin under my arm and ran out the door. I could hear his weak pleas from behind it.

A tear did not just slip down my face as I ran from 221b, It really didn't.****

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I don't know, this is my first Sherlock fic, so tell me what you think.  
I wanted one where John had to rectify a mistake, Is that bad?  
Okay anyway, Thanks abundantly for reading.  
Lots of Love, Mana Walker 3


	2. Chapter 2

John Pov:

Somehow I'm ridiculously confused about what just happened. Its the first time since I've moved into the flat that I've seen Sherlock express any emotion except for his usual maniacal cheeriness he has in a murder case. A non-boring case.

But what in the world just happened? He was out of here, in tears in a blink of my eye. Where did he go? He looked so sad. And that was just not a word you used to describe Sherlock. He's not as human as everyone else. He doesn't have emotions.

But I didn't imagine that. Sherlock ran out of here, sad, crying. And it's my fault. I shouldn't have yelled at him. But I was just angry. That doesn't really give me an excuse, does it?

No. And now he's gone. And he's emotional. That's not a good thing for an autistic recovering drug addict. Especially one as bright and irritatingly brilliant as him.

Where is he planning on going? He wouldn't go with Mycroft or Lesterade or Molly. And he doesn't have any friends. He only has one, and I'm not so sure if he thinks I'm his friend anymore.

I need to find him. I should have followed him. Okay, less self-loathing. I need to find my phone.

Ring, Ring, Ring... "Hello? Mycroft speaking."  
**  
"I need your help. I need to find Sherlock."**

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Thanks for Reading!  
I feel bad for the both of them now.  
What do you think?  
Lots of Love, Mana Walker 3

**Wibbly Wobbly: #1 love your name, #2 He got his bow, He just was in a hurry so didn't think about it.. (:**


	3. Chapter 3

I felt the wind lift my overcoat up. It was rather windy, as it always is in London. But today the weather fit my mood and I never thought I would even think something as pitifully human as that. But I can't really help it, for at this moment, earlier today I know my shell broke for more than a minute.

I broke a little bit more. I've always been able to keep inside, but in the time I've spent with John I have become a _better man._ Thats how everyone puts it. Because I guess I was so very unbearable before the time with him. So that means I've been a burden for most of my life and Its most likely that I will return to being just the same.

I wish I could return to the past and stop myself, well from being me. From being the one thats annoying. From being the one that has no friends. I don't have friends and now I'm not sure if I even have the one. _John._

I don't think I'll be able to return home for a while. Because if I do, then John will most likely pity me. He's a good man and its just his nature. But I don't want his pity, I don't even deserve it. But its most likely that he'll move along quickly. Its probably that Moriarity won't come after him if I'm gone.

Thats a good thing. Its a good thing for me to go. But I need to get out of sight. I can't have Mycroft find me, even if he's not looking for me it might look suspicious on his cameras. So its time to leave. Maybe for now, maybe for good.

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**Thanks for reading!**  
**I feel like Sherlock is a bit OC in this, sorry bout that.**  
**I'll update soon.**  
**Lots of Love, Mana Walker 3**


	4. Chapter 4

Mycroft arrived at the flat promptly twenty minutes later. John opened the door to let him in.

"I called Lestrade as well he's on his way." John revealed. Awkwardly facing the elder Holmes.

Mycroft stared at the shorter man. His head was a mess of thoughts and emotions, but his face was a well constructed mask. It looked like a grimace on the outside. "Will you explain to me what happened to my brother?"

John stared at the floorboards. "I did it."

"You did what?" Mycroft calmly demanded.

John stared into his eyes, sorrow seeping from their depths. "I was just so angry. I mean, Sarah had broken up with me. But that wasn't even the problem, she had told me that she couldn't compare with Sherlock Holmes. That I was too divided." John felt like he was going to cry again.

Mycroft felt little empathy, he was pissed. "What did you say to my brother?" A scowl on his face and the rage in his voice broke his mask.

John wiped his eyes with his left fist. "I yelled at him. Told him it was his fault, I didn't want things to turn out so badly. I didn't mean to." John sobbed.

Mycroft glared at him. "You have no idea what you've done."

John wiped his eyes, "What?"

"I helped him with all I could. And you've just thrown his issues back in face! Last time this happened he shut himself down completely! Deleted his emotions, His humanity! He's barely back to what he used to be! And most of thats because of you. I thought you would be good for him! That you would help, Not destroy him!" Mycroft ranted at the terrified John.

"I really don't know what you're talking about though! What issues?" John asked.

Their discussion was interrupted by Lestrade running through the door, "I got here as fast as I could, what's goin on?"

Mycroft yelled through the air, "My baby brothers going to kill himself and its all his fault!"

"What!" Lestrade demanded. "What are you talking about Mycroft?"

A very uncharacteristic tear dripped from the brothers eye. "He's gonna blame himself Greg! He's gonna go back to what he used to be." Mycroft sobbed.

Lestrade rushed to Mycroft's side and pulled him into a hug. "Its going to be okay Mycroft. We'll find Sherly before anything bad happens. I promise."

After leading Mycroft to the chair he turned back to John. "Now will you please tell me what happened?"****

Hey everyone...*Hides behind desk* So uh, hah, sorry bout the wait.

But I'll update everything sooner I promise! I just got distracted and stuff. All my other stories will be updated soon aswell!

I'm also gonna publish a crossover between Merlin


	5. Chapter 5

After explaining hysterically the moments of the morning, John broke down. Mycroft built his walls up a bit more. Lestrade stared empathetically at his friend.

"And that's what happened. I still don't think I know everything though, Why did Sherlock react that way? And why are you certain he's going to go bat-crazy now?" John glanced pointedly at Mycroft.

Mycroft cleared his throat and moved from his slouched position, mostly on top of Lestrade. Greg grabbed his hand and squeezed. For comfort.

"I used to have a better relationship with my brother. We used to be practically inseparable." The brother smiled at a fond memory. Then his expression turned dark. "He had a pretty awful relationship with our father though. Always looked right through him. You see, he was a serial adulterer. A bit of a dunce. He hated my brother. It made our drunk mother hate him too."

He glanced at Greg again, his eyes becoming misty.

"I protected him from our father though. That was until, I had to go to university. Sherlock begged for me to let him come as well. Saying 'I'm smarter than the kids here anyway.' and 'No one likes me here.' I refused though." Mycroft let out a bitter chuckle. Lestrade rubbed his arm.

"I left with the promise of visiting. And I did, for the most part. Sherlock was glad to see me, always present for the first months. I made sure to come home often, then Uni got a bit tough and couldn't come for about a month. But I sent letters. I just wished he received them." Mycroft greedily gulped in some air.

Lestrade's arm sneaked around his shoulders. John gave them a moment.

"But he never did. When I came back after a month, I barely saw Sherlock. Maybe at dinner once or twice. And when I did, I was shocked. He looked awful and for some reason, I knew it was better than how he usually looked." John frowned at the image.

"His eyes were sunken in and his skin was pasty. He barely ate anything, never spoke. Neither of our parents noticed anything. My mother focused mostly on me. Glad to have her favorite son back. My dad sent a few glances to Sherlock now and then. I caught them all. They were creepy, evil stares. " Mycroft stared at the floor.

"Then in another four months, I had enough of Sherlock avoiding me. I went to his room. It was a mess, a real one. There were broken shards of glass and bullet holes on the table. A failed experiment." He his eyes to wander around the room, a slight smile on his face.

"And as I walked through the mess, I saw a little pile on Sherly's bed. It was Sherlock of course. But he wasn't in good shape. I ran to his side and he was panting. It looked like he had a major fever. I ran to get a wet towel. When I came back Sherlock was sitting straight up on his bed, he looked like a doll. I ran over to him and told him to rest. But then his eyes focused on me, he looked terrified." Mycroft gulped. John couldn't imagine Sherlock ever showing this much emotion.

"He whispered to me. 'Did he send you this time?' I looked at my brother then, trying to decipher. I couldn't. So I asked him, he gazed at me. Like he didn't think I was serious. 'Did he send you to hurt me this time?' I was appalled. Who's hurting you Sherly, I asked. 'Your father Mycroft. Who do you think?"

John stared at Mycroft. "He was abusing his own son? Sherlock was abused?"

Mycroft nodded. "I told him my feelings about that. He didn't believe me though, just glared at me. Speaking with harsh coldness he said, 'Don't lie Mycroft. You don't have to lie anymore. He told me what you thought of me, it's why you never visit anymore.' And then a tear dripped down my brother's face. I couldn't do anything to stop it."

And now you know! So did you like the chapter?

And I want your advice. Should the next chapter be in Sherlys POV? Or should we sort this out first and have them go after him?  
Ill update soon.

**Lots of Love, Mana Walker 3**


	6. Chapter 6

John was shocked. This was the last thing he would've thought the Holmes brothers had gone through. Especially Sherlock.

Mycroft composed himself a bit. "After that I confronted my father and he rejected involvement. I asked my mother and she said she also had no idea what I was talking about. Then came time where I needed to go back to school. I hadn't got through to Sherlock yet but I made him promise to answer the phone when I called."

John remembered the discussion of Sherlocks drug problem, he thought that this might of been the thing that started it.

Mycroft nodded like he knew what John was thinking. "I was able to keep contact with my brother for about a month, when that suddenly ceased I knew something was wrong. I went to my house right away and learned that my brother had run away. I looked everywhere to find him and couldn't find anything."

Mycroft looked over to Lestrade, a connection between their histories in the midst. "I graduated Uni and got my career in the government. I had a few instances where I almost found my brother, it'd been two and a half years since I had any contact with my brother. And then I got a phone call."

Mycroft looked back to Lestrade to let him take over. He cleared his throat slowly and sat up.

"I had met Sherlock about half a year before. In a murder case designed around a drugs bust. I was completely lost until a young raggedy drug addict came to my office. He walked right in and slammed a stained homemade case file on my desk with an insane grin. He spoke in shuddering voice, I solved it for you, it was a bit dull though. Then he walked out."

Lestrade and his company all formed fond grins are their faces. That Sherlock was exactly like the one recognized now.

"All of the evidence was perfect and I realized I needed to find this kid again. When I did, I wasn't suspecting it. It was case much like the other one, except this time we had a suspect. He was fondling around the body when we got called in. He was put into custody and then I realized who it was. I called him into my office and soon I was face to face with an even grungier Sherlock."

Lestrade shuffled in his seat. John sat up a bit straighter.

"I asked him what he was doing and he gave me a look like it was completely obvious. He then sighed and said he was deducing. When I asked him what for, he said he was looking for the murderer. I wasn't shocked, just a bit dumbfounded so I giggled a bit."

John chuckled, that's exactly what he did with Sherlock, constantly.

"He thought I was laughing at him, so he yelled at me. I was so surprised I didn't look out for the fist he flung at me. For such a small kid he had a hell of a whopper. I told the cops rushing in to stand down. Explaining myself he laughed too, then his eyes became sharp. He crouched over to me, whispering 'the murderers here' Then he ran out, me in his midst."

Lestrade's expression sombered. "He just ran out and tackled one of our cops. Then he yelled me over, 'He did it! He did it! His wife was cheating on him with the murdered man and he wanted revenge!' All the while playing piggy-back, he was tall back then to. Harrison, the cop glared at him and pulled out his pistol. I tried to warn Sherlock, but it happened too quickly, the git got shot in the shoulder. But its like he didn't even notice, Sherlock managed to grab the gun and then knocked Harrison out with the handle."

A light chuckle went around the room. "Was Sherlock okay?" John asked, wanting Lestrade to continue.

"Well as soon as Harrison fell, so did Sherly. He just looked at me, pain finally catching up with him. 'Don't you dare bring me to the hospital Lestrade!' And then he clunked out, I couldn't abide by his wishes though. Medics were called, Harrison went to jail and I hopped on over to the hospital to see if the bullet was out. It was and Sherlock was angry."

Sorry for not updating for such a long time! I promise to update sooner form now on!

Lots of Love, Mana walker 3


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